vol. 1, part 1

February 4, 2007

Knowledge is power, or as the saying goes.  There are times when I am surrounded by noises, whether it is created by people’s voices, machines, instruments, or even nature when the constant exposure to sound is annoying. 

Friends have told me they wish I could hear and to be honest, I do not feel left out.  In fact the opposite, I feel grateful for a little secret.  I can hear noises to a point as long as I am wearing my hearing aids but hours of constant exposure is maddening.  I do not truely understand how hearing people can stand it. Hearing people still listen on some level in their sleep so they are easily awakened to the things that goes bump in the nights.

Not me, I am “sound” asleep till dawn. Well, past dawn.  All my life, sleep has been in a world of silence.  When I fall asleep, not even my hearing aids turned on at full blast, am I able to register the loudest trace of external sounds.  I have sat down at rock concerts in front of the large speakers where my friends’ bands would play, I have sat down in the basement when the same bands would pratice at full blast, with ear plugs securely snugged in their ear canals, and fallen asleep.

I used to tell people these bands were my lullaby bands, mostly punk rock type of music, with some alternative methods thrown in.  If you have been to these types of concerts, then you know how loud it can get.  For some reason, they are the best types of bands for me to fall asleep to, enjoying the bass rythmn, the loud acoustics of the guitars, the screaming of the vocals, until silence overpowers them as I drift into my slumber.

There are times where I am working in an environment where the phone is ringing off the hook, multiple voices are talking over each other in endless streams, the office machines churning out copies, printouts, or faxes.  It is bearable to a limit, but in the end, when these noises reaches my limit, I simply end up lowering the volumne of my hearing aids to the point where I simply shut them off.

 A friend wrote once “When the lights goes out, everyone’s black.”  In my case, when the hearing aids goes out, everyone’s silent.

So back to my first line, knowledge is power.  Indeed, the knowledge that even sound can never escape silence for silence is far much more powerful is a blessing in disguise.

Neverless, even this blessing can be a madness.  But that’s for another time.

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One Response to “vol. 1, part 1”

  1. andiebear Says:

    I have always appreciated your unique perspective on life and it’s experiences. I have never looked at your “deafness” as a handicap, but more of an intricate detail of who you are and part of the explination for your curiosities. I remember being the little brat “listening” in on your telephone conversations but it was only rare moments like that, that made me realize there was a difference between us, yet I was intrigued. I was always jealous of your “selective hearing”, particularly when my sister started her nagging about the apartment, but it appeared that you always had the time to contemplate issues and it enabled you to see things in a totally different light. I’ve always enjoyed being allowed to comprehend your thoughts and thank you for inviting me to your blog. Please keep it up, because our society seems to be moving at a continuosly faster pace, taking away our oppurtunity to hear and think of the things most important and even entertaining.


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